sometimes i wish i had facial hair
like sexy stubble or something that would be so cool
perfect
im not coming back to tumblr i just needed to find this post in order to dunk on my younger self. you absolute baby buffoon. you dumbass
dinosaur sprinkles. look at this post with your eyes if you agree
ALT
I was thinking recently about how "alt" subcultures are so aestheticized now but they used to be much more about your societal views than the clothes you wore or even the bands you listened to, and my brain connected some dots. Idk if this is anything
ALT
Yes, this is it! This is exactly it!!
A gorgeous, talented Black girl on TikTok independently released a single with a music video for it that's probably one of the few songs I could describe as Goth Pop, both by the sound itself and by her being clearly versed in the goth subculture, and she's getting so many mean comments. The song is good, she dances gothly and beautifully, her voice is very soft and sweet. Pay her a listen!
somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.
and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.
I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me
do NOT get into fibre arts!!!! you try one and then all of a sudden you have 10 hobbies and wanna try 10 more
yessss… yes
Stop giving your fantasy heroes swords challenge
Swords are for dipshits with more dollars than sense, real chad warriors have spears and axes
Spears: probably the oldest weapon humans ever developed that took more effort than just picking up a rock or swinging a branch as a club. Spears are the most venerated and effective weapon in history, used by every culture across the world with very little - if any! - exception. Medium-to-long reach means wider defensive area, ability to change hand position on shaft means you can adjust tip distance for opponents closer or farther away. Fast, maneuverable, throwable; reach for keeping people outside your personal bubble and can be used to just bludgeon people because a wooden pole bonks just as good as another wooden pole without the stabby bit; various styles of tips and blades that can be used to slash (not as effective but still very possible because blood drawn is blood spilled), more room for cool decorations as well as can be used to bear a banner or coat of arms. She does it all and she did it first. (They also twirl real cool)
Axes: PROBABLY THE SECOND OLDEST WEAPON DESIGN MORE ADVANCED THAN JUST PICKING UP A ROCK. Brutal, practical, utilitarian, the axe is excellent for that sweet sweet CHOP. The full force of your swing being focused into an area less than a millimeter wide and several inches long can cause SO MUCH DAMAGE, and if it's dulling mid-fight you still have a brutal tool that will break bone as indiscriminately as any other hunk of metal tied to a stick. They can be small and maneuverable, used with a shield or paired with another axe. They are the most effective way to just hack at an opponent's own shield, and - due to the fact that axes tend to have a much wider, shallower blade than, say, swords - they aren't as affected by the blunt force (with regards to dulling/damaging the actual edge of the blade) or as prone to getting stuck in the wood of the shield. Combat/fighting/war axes are definitely designed and sharpened differently from their wood-chopping brethren with regards to balance and the depth of the blade, but the guiding principle is the same. Chop chop chop chop chop.
Polearms: they're spearses. They're axes. They're both and they're neither. Pikes, glaives, halberds, bardiches, guisarmes, guandao, naginata, scythes, tridents, anything we took a blade or pointy metal and a long pole and ductaped together.
Swords are cool! They can be beautiful! However, they are race horses being used to work the fields: too expensive to maintain, not optimal for the purpose they're being used for, and too easy to irrepably damage if misused. Your opponents are wearing armor? You better hope you have a sword maneuverable enough to work into its weak points, because you're not hacking through that before you find yourself walking through golden fields of wheat. You only have one hand on your sword? Better hope somebody doesn't smack that long lever in your hands in such a way that it just gets knocked from your grasp.
This is the same post as every other Spears and Axes in Fantasy/Fiction post in existence, but I wrote this one and its mine amd im in a mood this morning apparently
@scarletkilometers SO TRU ABSOLUTELY CORRECT I AM POLISHING YOUR HAFT IN APPRECIATION
Okay but @gamemakerm have you considered what it could mean for a warrior woman to hold her nemesis at spear point first from a distance, hands at the back of the shaft to keep her nemesis as far away as possible which unfortunately lets her knock away the spear and get away? So the next time she has her nemesis at her mercy again, she's holding a firmer grip, standing closer for faster reaction speed? To stop her from getting away (and failing again)?
The third time they're face to face, she's got her hand gripping the end of the shaft, almost a chef's knife grip on the actual tip of the point, holding it directly to her jugular. Pinned against a wall. She will not escape her this time.
(They kiss)
Imagine also a burly warrior woman with a bearded handax, holding her prisoner by the throat with one hand and the axe against her throat with the other. They are challenging the other to make the first move with their locked, heated gaze. Burly Warrior smirks and gently caresses her opponent's long hair, using the hook of the beard like a finger and watching those beautiful locks pour off it.
Her prisoner is still being held up by her throat, but she's watching, too. She can't not watch. The axe caressing her is as much a threat as it is a promise, and the implications of either and both make her heart race.
A thing that bothers me about wizard schools in popular media – outside of the magic-grade-school stuff, anyway – is that they're typically depicted as being basically magic universities, but their actual curricula and pedagogical approaches look much more like those of a technical institution. Like, buddy, that's not a wizard university, that's a wizard trade school. You can't just slap university student culture on top of trade school pedagogy. It doesn't work like that – the one emerges from the other!
"Well ACTUALLY wizards are" wizards are made up. They can be analogous to whatever real-world class or vocation the author wants. Wizard-school-as-university and wizard-school-as-technical-institute are both perfectly fine; what I am grumping about is wizard-school media that doesn't seem to have a clear picture of how different sorts of educational institutions actually operate.
Okay but now I really want to know what a Wizard technician would look like. Would he wear magical overalls with all kinds of reagents and magic tools sticking out of his numerous pockets?
A guy like that walks into your tower with a toothpick in his mouth, takes one look at your summoning circle and goes
“I see yer problem. You used chalk B12 instead of S3. B12 is only for transmutation circles. Gimme a sec I think I have a piece somewhere here.”
He fixes your circle, test summons an imp and goes.
“There ya go. Fit as a fiddle.”
“It’s the chalk.”
“The chalk? I always use that chalk, it’s never been a problem.”
“Ah - yes. This stuff will work just fine for most circles, but, uh - here, take a look with my loupe. You see the off-color flecks? Can’t hardly see them with the naked eye, but those are impurities. Silicates, might even be some iron in here, to be honest. Usually won’t cause a problem, but - you said you hadn’t tried this particular summons before?”
“First time trying a 5th level, yeah.”
“Those silicates will make your scribing a little fuzzy when viewed from the astral plane. You see, for example, these three fine lines here? With this chalk, on the astral that looks like one thick line with fuzzy edges. They can’t tell exactly what you want, and they’re picky lil’ critters so they just won’t do anything in response.”
“Really? Oh. I always thought the expensive chalk was just fancy to be fancy.”
“Making pure chalk is difficult, you need a dedicated production line or dust gets in the finished product. To be honest, you don’t need to bother with it for most things, but 5th and up, 5th level and up, it actually is necessary. Anything with lines within about two millimeters of each other.”
“So I need to start over?”
“Unfortunately yes. You’ll have to erase all this, but with some good chalk it should work just fine. Next new moon your summons should go off without a hitch.”
“Dang. At least it’s not my sigils, I was worried it was my sigils.”
“Nah Your sigils look good. Even and balanced. You know what you’re doing, it’s just an equipment problem.”
“Thanks for the help, sorry to make you come all the way out here.”
“No problem! It’s my job.”
#scene from moonstruck with vincent gardenia explaining the different types of pipes but it’s metallurgy ores #there’s the kind of ore you have— which is garbage. then there’s steel which is pretty good. unless something goes wrong. #and something always goes wrong. #and then— there’s copper. which is the only kind of ore i use. #it costs money. it costs money because it saves money. (@macklesufficient)
oh my god they're installation wizards
Okay but so much of the character of Sam Vimes is influenced by him being a former alcoholic tho. I don’t think it’s possible to discuss his unbreakable moral code without also discussing his addiction.
There is significant parallels between how he does not touch alcohol EVER starting from Men at Arms and every other ways that he holds himself accountable in the books.
One minute late to storytime with his child would be one minute too much, because once you excuse one minute late then you can excuse five, ten, and then fifteen minutes late. -> one drink is too many drinks because one drink « tends to arrive in five glasses ».
« If you do a bad thing for a good reason you’ll do it for a bad one », « If one part of the machine breaks down it all breaks down » and « who watches the watchman? Me. » are all different ways of saying that Vimes cannot allow himself to make even one exception in how he behaves. Will not, yes, and that’s very admirable, but this will not is the result of a CAN NOT because what would happen if he did is not, in fact, unthinkable. On the contrary, he knows very well what would happen if he did break one of his many rules, and this is exactly why he doesn’t break them.
« One drink is one too many » is basically the center of his character’s moral code. And it hits so hard because he’s not being rigid for the fun of it, he’s like that because he knows. It’s a sliding slope and he’s been on it and at the bottom of it and he KNOWS how quickly it slides.
And it’s so interesting to see how he applies that core concept to all other aspects of his life, cultimating into the guarding dark.
ALT*cough cough* so today on my aroace Vetinari agenda-
@historical-paramedics you can be ace and a slut. They are not mutually exclusive. No need to choose. Vetinari for sure doesn't
Oh damn you're so right omg